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The sad truth about relationships post-aneurysm

I’m not sure where to start with this one, I have so much to say on this topic that I could literally talk about it all day. A number of my relationships have been affected in some shape or form since my brain aneurysm ruptured, this includes relationships with my friends, family members and with my now ex-partner.

The good

I’m a positive person and have always been a ‘cup half full’ kind of girl, so let’s start with the positive affect that my illness has had on the relationships around me. What I would say is that I have always kept my circle small by having a select few people in my life as my friends. I’ve always been far more interested in having ‘real’ quality relationships in my life rather than having lots of what I term ‘superficial’ friendships.

Therefore everyone I consider to be a genuine friend/family member in my life has remained in my life throughout this incredibly difficult journey that I have endured this past year and for that I am eternally grateful!

I have also gained new friendships with people that I would have once considered to be acquaintances. Just the other day I was thinking that it’s strange how the people which you have no expectation of whatsoever are the most supportive and become the closest to you when going through such a difficult time.

The not so good

Although my closest friends and family have been there for me, there were times were I felt incredibly disappointed and let down by the people who I perceived to be closest to me, especially when I had family members that didn’t visit me. I felt a huge sense of loss as the dynamics of a number of relationships had changed and this left me feeling very low, incredibly lonely and isolated.

It was also incredibly difficult for me as some of my closest friends live far away and didn’t see me while I was going through this huge ordeal, because they hadn’t seen me it was as if it wasn’t happening to me, so they could easily put it to the back of their mind - out of sight, out of mind! This was incredibly frustrating for me because I couldn’t hide from what was happening to me, I had no choice - this was a reality for me!

I had one ‘friend’ who I considered to be a fairly good friend and to my dismay I didn’t hear anything from her, not a text message, a call, nothing! I was shocked as I would usually hear from her every other week. Ironically I bumped into her roughly 7 months after my aneurysm ruptured, her exact words were…

”Oh I haven’t seen you since your little episode…”

I was in shock by her attitude and her lack of her humanity. She then proceeded to say I’ll arrange for us to meet up..I responded by saying

“Don’t bother wasting your time” and walked off, It was the best feeling ever!! Lol.

Moving forward, life goes on

The old me would have been polite, but since my aneurysm ruptured I’ve learned that life is far too short to pretend and waste time with pointless and forced relationships. Difficult times will separate the fake from the real people in your life.

My new mantra is that if you can’t be with me through the bad times, you sure can’t be with me through the good times!

Invest your time in the people that appreciate you and who make a conscious effort to be part of your life. This journey of life is short, so make sure that you spend it with the right people, happiness is the ultimate life goal!

Visit Danielle's blog, My Blooming Brain, to read more about her story of life after brain aneurysm. 

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